i just wanna be happy..:)

"So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy."

yup! i just wanna be happy.:)

i wanna live my life to the fullest!

i wanna have fun!

i want to love and be loved!

random.

time flies so fast..:)

it's almost 3 months since i last posted something in here..:)

i have a lot to share. not all good things.:l

it's already my 3rd term in mapua..i don't know if i will still transfer to another program or another school. really at first that was my plan but then there are a lot of things that happened.

i want to attend the same university with my cousin Elysia. but still i don't know which one she'll attend.

it is really hard to make a decision because you will only know its consequences after you have decided.

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i want to focus first with my studies but its so hard to go against temptations.haha..:))

i want to have barkada composed of girls. although im used to being one of the boys since there are only two girls that is left in our block. me and dianne, it is still different being with the girls.. i actually miss my best friend..we haven't seen each other lately and we also don't have communications since i lost my sun sim card.

although lately i'm bonding with some of my high school friends.. i really missed my high school classmates a lot.. its like no time for the arguments and such i just want to bond with them.

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"wag kang miserable. choice mo yan!"

a favorite line of a cousin of mine..hahai. its kinda true.

being EMO and such is our choice. we can put in our minds that we can survive these problems and stop the emo things.haha..

i know it'll be hard. actually, yes it will be but we have to do it for our own good. don't be miserable, because you will be the LOSER! if you'll be one.

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am i strong enough to LOVE!?

i really don't know.

because. really! im WEAK!

and i think i need a partner that will be strong enough for the both of us.

i don't know what is the result of this, but i don't wanna let myself fall for this. i know that being stupid is a part of loving. but i don't want to be the stupidest person on earth!.:))

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it's already 1 in the morning and i want to take a rest so...

CIAO!

AFRAID! emo much?!

---hai.

ang complicated talaga ng buhay! bat kaya?!hmm.:)

im afraid to love. because im afraid of pain and hurt..


"to love is to suffer. to avoid suffering one must not love. but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness."


which only means whatever we do we cant avoid sufferings, pain and hurt.

"In every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction."

when we love we will feel such happiness but in return you will also feel such sadness.


we can't prevent things to happen..some things are beyond our control..we should just learn to make things work out..:l

i am scared of falling for you because i know that there is this someone that is still bothering you..and i know how hard it is to forget your feelings for someone..because honestly, im also still in the process of forgeting someone. i keep on telling myself and others that the feeling is already gone. sometimes it is, but there are times that i keep on reminiscing the good memories that we shared and the feeling is kinda going back. and i know that it is also happening to you.

i'm afraid of loving you because i am afraid that when the time comes that Im already so much in love with you, you'll realize that it is her that your heart is beating for. That would break my heart into pieces and i dont want that to happen, i am not ready for that yet.

after 10 years..:)

hey!

its been a while since i last posted something.:) hmm. our first term in college will already end. it seems so fast that I didn't get the chance to know each of my classmates so well. I hope that they will still be my block mates. tomorrow should be our finals in Algebra and Trigonometry but because of the typhoon "ONDOY" it was delayed. Classes are suspended in colleges in Metro Manila tomorrow.

to be continued....

dapat sa multiply kaso ayaw.haha..iimport nalang..haha

First blog in my multiply account...so much to share but don’t know where to start... It’s been a long time since I have shared what’s happening in my world for the reason that I still don’t have internet at home. (Sorry for incorrect grammars...Haha..:p)
---our 8th month
Last July 27, while President Arroyo is giving her last SONA, 4aver is celebrating our 8th month of happiness?..haha..whatever it is.. although some wasn’t able to attend, it was still a blast. The first meeting place, as usual, is MCDO barangka. Since Erika went to our house first, we went to MCDO together and when we arrived there, mother (chesca), melo, john, mich, loann, james, rose, mariel were already there..as usual everyone is sharing story about what’s new with their lives, special topics are college life, professors, new crush. They are still the same old almeda. After a while, ferdyn, angelo, aura and adrian arrived. We ate a little then proceed to mother’s house.. my favorite hangout. Our first objective was to watch the SONA but we got tired of Gloria.haha. so we decided to just sing. After a while, we got tired of singing so we played “hephep hooray” that was so fun but then so exhausting for our host.haha.. we played another game. “back the message” one of our favorite,hahaha. Our team won..yey!haha. I think I went home at almost 8pm.. I’m not really sure about it. One great day! I miss them a lot and we only see each other so seldom.
--new found friends
It’s almost a month since my first day in college and I have found new friends but still I want to get close to each person in my section AC2.. but I wasn’t reaching out that well. Hmm. As always, I think I still need time to reach out to everyone. I am really bad in socializing.haha. I really need to take one step at a time. Anyway, so much for that. I would like to thank AC2 for making my first month in college exciting and enjoyable.hahaha.. =D
--…
You are so hard to decipher. Im not sure of how you feel about me. Sorry for not being so close with you, I just don’t know how.
Now playing:
“… I got this so so amazing crazy kind of crush on you, and though I try to forget you doesn’t matter what I do… you’re on my mind all the time, if it’s a crime I cant deny…. its true..coz I got this so so amazing crazy kind of crush on you..crazy…crazy…crush on you..- Jonas Brothers”

what hurts the most.

hmm..after na mabasa ko ung post ni james at ni marc..nainspire akong gumawa din ng post.hehe..=)

"THE END"
-yan na nga ba ang kahahantungan ng lahat?!(i hope not.)

In 4 years of stay in Mand. Sci..marami akong natutunan hindi lang sa academics kundi pati sa life.

dati akala ko..2nd year was the best year ever. pero sabi nga nila mahirap magsalita ng tapos.

and there was a time during 2nd year summer break, the time that i was informed that i will be in section A, i was actually so scared. maybe because of the expression of people about being in section A.

3rd year,..first week..was kinda hard..thank God im with my closest friend and not alone. i know and i can feel that there were walls..there are some point that i cannot relate to them and maybe vice versa.

but after a few months, i can say some of them was ok. very kind and friendly. maybe the impressions were not applicable to all of them at all.

i can still remember the happy moments we shared..
-volleyball times.
-jamming moments.
-presentations and project.
-the last bonding during third year.(with the face paint and everything.)

i think we had influenced them even a bit.(bigger influence was actually joyce and melo.)

and as that year ended not all of us were really friends. it's still just classmates at that time.

4th year,..we started the year still with walls around. and its not between solid A and B..its now between friends and groups..

conflicts..open forum..we had a lot.

but one thursday of november, we had our last open forum.
started with the topic about the problems in our xmas concert. and suddenly all issues were opened. (which is actually good cause that day all conflicts were forgotten and we had forgiven each other.) we hugged each other. SORRY and THANK YOU..were the words. we left the room as one section. as we say that day.."one smell, one section" but of course we are just kidding.hehe..

as days goes by, we encountered more problems and challenges that made our bond stronger.

this last few months, i remembered, everytime i asked permission to my parents, i would always say.."last na naman to eh..gagraduate na kame".

and every time, i can hear myself always says the word "LAST".

but deep inside me i hope that it will never be the last, that there will never be a last.


"What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away"

as we enter COLLEGE. we can never prevent changes.
we might find another bunch of friends.
and worst will prioritize them more than the friends we have now.
but what can we do? we can never control each other.

i hope there will still be a force that will bring us together. it might not be all us but some who did treasure this all.
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another realization, i am fated to be in section A, now I'm part of it. I understand how they feel every time other sections misinterpret them.

goodluck for all of us.

there will never be a goodbye because we will see each other everytime.

the PRESIDENT's BIRTHDAY!

as promised..

MARCH 31, 2009

so excited to go to school because Angelo planned a surprise for james that no one will greet him..so when i arrive i did not greet him a happy birthday! but after angelo informed me that everyone already great him so i also great him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! and shared about the surprise thing..

went to school for the BACCALAUREATE MASS!
but i was so disappointed that it was not that holy..(for me.)

okay! change topic.
him
everyone is busy of their clearances to be signed.
and i am one of them, but someone approached me and told me that mrs. lacson was looking for me because i nid to pass the slideshow for the graduation unluckily i left it at home and totally forgot about it actually.

i ask my father to bring my usb to school.

then we also need a cd copy of it so we ended up asking a favor from a 3rd year student..luckily she is kind (but not some of her classmates) then..

after that..

its time.

for JAMES bday celebration/blowout!

we went to KFC shaw.(the same place where camae had her despedida blowout.)

in the trike i was with...(ohh!no..i forgot..is this a sign of ALZEIMERS?!Pls. NO!!!)
anyway,..we are kinda having a race with the other trike and the other trike had an accident and we were all joking about it that its because of sukob since they wore their togas before graduation..

we were in the place..upstairs the food was already waiting for us.haha
we took our seat then the others arrived..Angelo had a surprise cake for James..ahh!!it was so touching.haha..=)

then everyone started eating..it was so much a heavy meal to make our stomach full.
beside me were Melo and Ferdyn..and in front of me were JOyce, Diana and Rose.

after eating we went downstairs since there will be a party upstairs at 3pm..

so there i had a bonding with joyce and melo..which i really missed..
then we decided to give the boxes of letters to everyone..

and they started reading each!it was a moment of kinda silence but not so.haha

since i was not yet done with my letters.
and Melo, Joyce and James too..

we just talk about on what kind of strategies we will do for the letters..

after a while..


we left KFC and proceeded to a park outside it..

after a while the others left..and others..

our famous gera patayan..which i will miss for sure.

some of them got injured literally...haha.

but i think most of them enjoyed.

being one of the audience i really enjoyed the show..made my tummy ache..bec. i can't stop laughing.

so most of them are tired so they rest already then shared some stories..

unluckily i needed to go home early.

so i already left the place.