minsan ayoko magshare sa mga kaibigan ko ng problema lalo na pagdating sa lovelife... lalo na pag nag-aaway kame.. hindi dahil di ko sila pinagkakatiwalaan pero dahil ayoko na magalit sila dun sa tao na madala sila sa nararamdaman ko... at magbago ung paningin nila sa kanya. marahil marami ng naiinis saken na kaibigan ko dahil hirap ako magshare sa kanila.. pero may mga bagay lang ako iniiwasan.. super mahal ko kayo kaya ganun... sana maintindihan nio ko.. Gustong gusto ko na kayo ung nasa tabi ko pero may mga bagay din akong kinoconsider, minsan ayoko din makaistorbo at makadagdag pa sa mga problema nio... sana u will not love me any less dahil sa di ko pagshare..

Di ko alam kung tama ung desisyon ko pero ayoko na kasi ng mga arguments... nakakapagod, nakakasakit at nakakasawa din naman ee. Nahihirapan din ako, pero minsan di rin maiiwasan. May nakapagsabe sakin na, mas mahirap din ung tinatago, ung naiipon dito ---> <3 mahihirapan din sa huli kasi baka mapuno tapos sumabog. Tama nga naman siya dapat kahit papano ilalabas rin di ung ibabaon na dun forever. Naisip ko masyado ata akong focus sa bawat kilos kaya lahat napapansin. Naisip ko rin na dapat lawakan ko na ung mundo ko para may ibang bagay din na pagkakaabalahan.

"Ayos lang naman magkacrush ee, kasi kung di magkakacrush baka di kayo tumagal." -- totoo din siguro to. Ayos lang din naman saken ee. Pero mas gusto ko ung alam ko, kasi ayokong sabihin ko na "I was not informed." Hindi ko naman tinatago nagkakacrush din naman ako ee, sabe nga nila Crush lang naman un but at the end of the day iba pa rin ung mahal, pero naisip ko din na... okay lang magkacrush kung ung hanggang tingin lang hindi ung may pageeffort na ng pagiging close dun sa crush... di ba?

make sense? I really don't know :)

hm. it's weird na may mga bigla akong naiisip na nagkakatotoo. Ewan ko ba kung nagkakataon lang pero ang weird pa rin, ung tipong bigla kong maiisip ung gantong bagay out of nowhere biglang totoo un... Dejavu din ba un? may mga naiisip din kasi akong di maganda pero di ko alam kung iniisip ko un or biglang thought din un? ewaaan naguguluhan lang ako at gusto ko lang ishare.

someone asked me such...

and i can't help but think of it...

I'm not really into the course I'm taking, all of these was a last resort.

my school. my course....

Shifting to another course was always my choice but then again if i do that a lot will be wasted..

my time, my efforts, money of course...

hayy.

so guess what? I'm bored and I think this is the first longest time I've been using the net this 2012 that I thought of blogging.:)

I actually miss writing stories and blogging. I remember I did write some stories with no endings that's my weakness thinking of a good ending or maybe the I really don't know how to end it. Anyway...

I'm taking my thesis course and it feels like I'm about to end college soon. I'm both excited and scared with the thought of it. Me going to the next level..Wew, WORKING! I think life will get tougher and I should get stronger.

I'm getting bored with my life I want to do something new...........
maybe I'll try to get sporty? hmmmm.
or adventures...
or have a part time job?

I don't know I just something new that will make me busy in a happy way. :D

it's been a while since i posted in this blog. there's a lot that has been happening in my life... random stuffs!
-school.
-family.
-friends.
-BREW.
-lovelife.
-others.
hahaha there are stories in each.

SCHOOL
- I'm already in my third year and i feel like my social life is not getting any better. guess, school is always about academics for me. Not that I'm becoming a grade conscious again. Actually i'm not although, I wanted to get some good grades but laziness gets in my way. I shouldn't be like this anymore. Each term I keep saying that I'll be more productive but I'm not. I should be thinking of my future by now. But I'm not really seeing a clear picture yet!

FAMILY
-Not so much, Our new house is already done. We now live up our grandma's residence. We just transferred I guess end of April?! I already have my own room for a while because nowadays I'm sharing it with my sister. One sad event was when our dearest Grandpa passed away. It was so sudden that we didn't have the chance to say goodbye. It was one midnight in May. We've been through the wake and the burial. Of course, it was a first for our family. Sadly, our dearest grandpa that used to stay in the kitchen sometimes just calling for help or for a conversation is now with the Lord. I guess he's more peaceful in there. I guess that's it.

FRIENDS
-As always, I'm not that good in socializing. So i stick with the one's i already have. Thankful, that we're still in touch with each other. Although, we have our own busy days. We find time to meet once in a while?! I know I'm kinda missing some gatherings but i know they won't love me any less. There are some friend of mine that i guess we're starting to drift apart. but i hope not. As I always say I'm not good in socializing so I'm not used to going and looking for everyone else. I could stay in one place alone for a long time.. EMO? not so, just an introvert. Silence is peaceful. But not all the time it's good. So once in a while, I get out of my shell.

BREW
-yess! my two beautiful cousins. hahaha :D we are all :) and we're kinda expanding? we have our two little cousins and a friend of brew karen, brew april :) we're growing up! yes we are. Although, are family still treat us like children we are already grown-ups. Next year, brew ysha will also turn 18.. so guess what.. LEGAL?! reaally now? I don't think so. BECAUSE our FAMILY is so STRICT! and we have to accept that fact! although, we can have some BONDING. one was celebrating ysha's birthday and the other is celebrating ysha's broken heart. kidding, but it was kinda like that.... anyway, i guess the next will be my celebration but still my money wasn't given yet. I hope soon! :) I Love this two.. we are starting to talk about grown-up stuffs. like relationships and all... more to come..

LOVELIFE
-GUESS WHAT? Okay, I'm no longer a NBSB! I graduated last June 14... yeah! I know right. haha like I'm crazy talking to nobody really..yes. but I'm happy I have this someone who's being always there for me and loving me endlessly?. Although, seems perfect but not really we have also gone through some downfalls. I hope he'll be as loyal and faithful as I think. That's the most important thing for me.. and the rest will be a bonus. I'm crazy jealous as always, and I hope he'll handle that till the end. I know myself as a soloist, sometimes I still look for that but then I got him beside me everywhere and anywhere I go to. not that I don't like that. We try to make lots of good memories. :) what can I say more? I'm just Happy and In Love :)

OTHERS
-lastly, my health! I'm so thinking about it recently. I'm feeling different pain now in my body, sometimes headache, muscle pains and others. Maybe, it's because of the negativity I absorbed during my visit to my ninang who has a cancer. I fear having one and kinda scared of all. Anyway, I guess I'm just stress because I  always sleep late. and all school stuff! kinda stressful!


that's it just updating...